英语小笑话带翻译 优选25则

英语小笑话带翻译 优选25则 由会员“zycjh”整理投稿精心推荐，小编希望对你的学习工作能带来参考借鉴作用。

【目录】篇1：英语小笑话带翻译篇2：英语小笑话带翻译篇3：英语小笑话带翻译篇4：英语小笑话带翻译篇5：英语小笑话带翻译篇6：英语小笑话带翻译篇7：英语小笑话带翻译篇8：英语小笑话带翻译篇9：英语小笑话带翻译篇10：英语小笑话带翻译【正文】

篇1：英语小笑话带翻译

1。 Dad: Tom， please tell me， which month has 28 days?

Tom: Every month。

爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？ 汤姆：每个月都有啊！

2。Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes， and this one will be if you sit down。

男孩：这个座位是空的么？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

3。 Boy: "I'd like to call you。 What's your number?"

girl: "It's in the phone book。" Boy: "But I don't know your name。" girl: "That's in the phone book too。"

男：我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少？女：在电话本上呢。男：可是我不明白你的名字呀。女：也在电话本上呢。

4。 Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year。

Customer: Good gracious! In a year? Palmist: Yes， but I can't say in which。

手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。

顾客：天哪，一年后？手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。

5。 A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time。 Coming up beside her， he said， "Pull over!" "No，" she replied， "a pair of socks!"

巡警发现一名妇女边开车边织毛衣，便开车上前，说："靠边停车(套头衫)！" "不，" 她回答，"是一双袜子！"

6。 “Tom， what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen。

"He's crying。" "Oh， nothing， Mum，" replied Tom。 "I'm eating my cake。

He is crying because I won't give him any。" "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes。" said Tom。 "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that。"

"汤姆，你弟弟怎样了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我 不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自我的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"

7。 A husband， proving to his wife that women talk more than men， showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day， whereas women use 30000 words a day。 She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say。 He said， "What?"

丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究证明男人平均每一天使用15000个字，而女人每一天使用 30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每一天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说 过的话。 他问："什么？"

8。 Boy: Hi， didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?

Girl: Must've been once。 I never make the same mistake twice。

男孩：嗨，我们之前是不是约会过，是一次还是两次，我忘记了。

女孩：应当仅有一次吧，我从不犯两次同样的错误。

篇2：英语小笑话带翻译

1。ass and man[由www.网友投稿]

驴和买驴的人

A man wanted to buy an ass。 He went to the market， and saw a likely one。 But he wanted to

test him first。 So he took the ass home， and put him into the stable with the other asses。

The new ass looked around， and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in

the stable。 When the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once， and gave him back to

his owner。 The owner felt quite surprised。 He asked the man， "Why are you back so soon? Have

you tested him already?" "I don't want to test him any more， ……此处隐藏2755个字……know it's three o'clock in the morning?"

两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不明白到了晚上几点钟。于是，一个男孩对另外一个说：“我们开始大声唱歌就行了。”

“那就会明白时光吗？”第二个男孩问。

“只管唱吧。”第一个坚持道。

两个孩子开始大声唱歌，过了一会儿，一个邻居打开窗户喊道：“小声点！你们不明白此刻是凌晨三点吗？”

篇10：英语小笑话带翻译

What Was It She Wanted？

A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．“No，ma’am， we haven't had any for a while， and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon．” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， we'll have somesoon， We placed an order last week．” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say we've got it on order and it's ing． Now whatwas it she wanted？” “Rain．” said the clerk．

一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，立刻就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货立刻就到。此刻你说她要买什么？” “雨，”店员说。

A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉

A preacher is buying a parrot

Are you sure it doesnt scream， yell， or swear? asked the preacher。

Oh absolutely。 Its a religious parrot， the storekeeper assures him。

Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one， he recites the lords prayer， and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm。

Wonderful! says the preacher， but what happens if you pull both strings?

I fall off my perch， you stupid fool! screeched the parrot。

一个传教士在买鹦鹉

“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗？”传教士问。

“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。

“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗？当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”

“太棒了！”传教士说，“可是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢？”

“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋！”鹦鹉尖声说道。

How can I get into heaven 我怎样才能上天堂

"If I sold my house and my car， had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor， would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class。

"No!" the children all answered。

"If I cleaned the church everyday， mowed the yard， and kept everything neat and tidy， would I get into heaven?"

Again， the answer was， "No!"

"Well， " I continued， "then how can I get into heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out， "You gotta be dead!"

“如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖， 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗？”我问主日学校的孩子。

孩子们齐声回答：“不能！”

“那如果我每一天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗？”

回答还是：“不能！”“好吧， ”我继续问， “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢？”

一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行！”

I Want Her to go Nuts

Mrs。 Flinders decided to have her portrait painted。 She told the artist， "Paint me with diamond earrings， a diamond necklace， emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant。"

"But you're not wearing any of those things。"

"I know，" said Mrs。 Flinders。" It's in case I should die before my husband。 I'm sure he'd remarry right away， and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry。"

福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”

“但你此刻没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

“我明白。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。”

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